Supporting Someone with a Gambling Addiction – Advice and Help
Living with or caring about someone who struggles with gambling can be painful and exhausting. You may experience worry, anger, sadness or a sense of helplessness. This guide explains how to support someone with a gambling addiction, set healthy boundaries and look after your own wellbeing.
What Does It Mean to Love Someone with a Gambling Addiction?
Gambling addiction rarely affects only the person who gambles. Partners, parents, children, siblings and friends can also experience its consequences.
As someone close to a person with gambling problems, you may struggle to understand why they continue gambling despite the negative consequences. Perhaps you have tried to help, lent them money or repeatedly hoped that the gambling would stop.
It is common to feel a great deal of responsibility for the situation. However, it is important to remember that you cannot control another person’s gambling behaviour.
How Does Gambling Addiction Affect Family and Friends?
Being close to someone with gambling problems can create a constant sense of uncertainty. Many family members and partners find that gambling gradually begins to affect more and more areas of their own lives.
Worry and Stress
Concerns about the future, finances and the next gambling episode can create ongoing tension.
Sleep Difficulties
Worry and conflict can make it difficult to relax, sleep well and recover.
Loss of Trust
Secrets and broken promises can make it difficult to feel safe and secure in a relationship.
Anger and Disappointment
Feeling frustrated is understandable when gambling continues despite previous conversations and promises.
Shame and Loneliness
Some people avoid talking about the situation and try to manage everything on their own.
Feeling the Need for Control
You may find yourself checking bank accounts, monitoring money or watching the person’s behaviour in an attempt to prevent further problems.
How Do You Talk to Someone About Their Gambling Problem?
Knowing how to raise concerns about gambling can be difficult. You may worry that the person will become angry, deny the problem or withdraw.
Try to choose a calm moment when you both have time to talk without interruptions.
Start with Your Own Feelings
Explain how the gambling affects you, your relationship and your sense of security.
Avoid Blame and Accusations
Describe what has happened and how you feel, rather than focusing on assigning blame.
Listen to Their Perspective
Give the person space to explain their experience, even if you see the situation differently.
Encourage Professional Support
Explain that professional help is available and that they do not have to try to stop gambling alone.
Be Clear About Your Boundaries
Explain what you need to feel safe and which changes are important to you.
Setting Boundaries with Someone Who Gambles
Setting boundaries is not about punishing someone. It is about protecting your wellbeing, your sense of security and your finances.
Financial Boundaries
You can choose not to lend money, take out new loans or pay someone else’s gambling debts.
Personal Boundaries
You have the right to speak up when situations affect your safety or emotional wellbeing.
Responsibility for Change
You can encourage someone to seek help, but they need to take responsibility for their own gambling behaviour.
Support for Yourself
You can seek advice and support even if the person who gambles is not yet ready to change.
Managing Finances When Someone in Your Family Has a Gambling Addiction
Financial difficulties are a common consequence of gambling addiction. These may include loans, debts, unpaid bills or money disappearing from joint bank accounts.
Get a Clear Overview
Review income, expenses, debts and any shared financial commitments.
Protect Your Own Finances
Review your bank accounts and payment arrangements. Find out which financial commitments you are personally responsible for.
Be Cautious About Taking Out Loans
Avoid taking out new loans to cover gambling debts without first seeking independent financial advice.
Seek Debt Advice
A qualified debt adviser or local debt advice service may be able to help you understand your options and create a plan for moving forward.
What If the Person Continues Gambling or Relapses?
When someone continues gambling despite promising to stop, it can lead to deep disappointment and distress.
Relapse can occur during recovery from gambling addiction. It does not mean that change is impossible, but it is important that the person takes responsibility for their behaviour and seeks appropriate support.
As someone close to them, you can encourage the person to return to treatment or other support, while maintaining your financial and personal boundaries.
Do Not Forget to Look After Yourself
When someone close to you struggles with gambling, it is easy for your life to begin revolving around their situation. However, you also need time to rest and recover.
Talk to Someone
Share your thoughts with someone you trust or a professional who supports families affected by addiction.
Maintain Your Routines
Try to make time for sleep, regular meals, physical activity and things that give you energy.
Give Yourself Space
You do not have to solve everything. It is understandable to feel sadness, anger and exhaustion.
When Children Are Affected by Gambling Addiction
Children can be deeply affected when a parent or another close family member has gambling problems. Even when gambling is not openly discussed, children may notice worry, conflict and financial stress.
It Is Never the Child’s Fault
Children need to understand that they did not cause the gambling problem and are not responsible for solving it.
Use Age-Appropriate Language
Explain the situation in a way that suits the child’s age and level of understanding.
Listen to Their Feelings
Give children opportunities to express their worries, questions and emotions without making them responsible for adults.
Seek Support When Needed
School wellbeing services, healthcare professionals and family support organisations may be able to help children affected by the situation.
Where Can Families Affected by Gambling Addiction Get Help?
Support is available both for people experiencing gambling problems and for their family members and friends. You do not have to face this alone.
Professional Gambling Support
Gambling support services can provide advice, information and guidance for people affected by gambling addiction. Look for recognised gambling support organisations in your country or region.
Healthcare Services
Your doctor or local healthcare service may be able to provide information about gambling addiction, treatment and available support.
Financial and Debt Advice
Independent debt advice services may be able to help you review financial difficulties and understand your options.
Gambling Self-Exclusion
Many countries offer gambling self-exclusion programmes that allow people to restrict their access to gambling services. The available options depend on where you live.
Support Services in Sweden
If you live in Sweden, you can contact Stödlinjen for free gambling-related support, including support for family members. You can also find healthcare information through 1177 and information about self-exclusion through Spelpaus.
Stödlinjen →
1177 →
Spelpaus →
Explore more options on our Find Support page →
You Deserve a Life with Peace and Security Too
Supporting someone with a gambling addiction can involve a long period of worry and uncertainty. Rebuilding a sense of security and trust, both in others and in yourself, may take time.
However, you do not have to wait for someone else to change before you begin looking after your own life.
Small steps, clear boundaries and support from others can make a difference.
More Guides from Beyond Gambling
Would you like to understand gambling addiction and the steps towards a gambling-free life? Explore our other guides.